unrequited love for Mary

Hello Mary*. 

I recently remembered how very pretty you are and how cool you seemed to be and was wondering if you'd like to go out sometime? I know it's been ages, and that over the course of this time you may have gotten less pretty or less cool, or I may have gotten less pretty or less cool, but I'd like to find out either way.

John*

Now if you're chuckling away to yourself reading this, or if you think what awful novel did i lift this from. I can confirm that this is an actual facebook mail my friend got today. 

I couldn't not share.. 

First of all, its vaguely insulting, 'less pretty or less cool', and he's still willing to go out with her?! what a catch! My brain is baffled. Is this a bet or a joke? Apparently it is not. Mary tells me that the young man is a bit socially retarded.....no way, really?

..and since we're all sharing i have to say that this is not the first time young Mary has been the object of a creepy guys affection. 

For years, Mary came home from college, wrecked, in need of a nap and flopped onto her bed. usually throwing her books, laptop, clothes around the place for the relief of pjs and a duvet. Not once thinking she was being watched....that's right.

In all the years she floated about the privacy of her room, she didn't close the curtains. Recently the parents of the young man living behind Mary happen to be in his room, only to see herself coming out of the shower, i wont bore you wit the details, but there may have been nudity involved...i know i know! This was meant to be a PG blog.

Anywho, they went on to tell her parents and poor Mary was sat down to let her know that leaving curtains open and prancing around you're room naked is really only inviting Peeping Tom's to have a gawk.

There you go people, be warned, even if you have trees outside the window, close your curtains!

I know Irish guys sometime get a hard time from us young ladies. But i think they're going to have to try a lil harder..

*name have been changed to make this a little less embarrassing...just a little.